A Heavy Drinker Goes Sober
But he rails against teetotallers, reminding me of an Irish man who "took the pledge" and, when congratulated on becoming a teetotaller, looked shocked and said, "That's a filthy Protestant notion. I took the pledge." (BYCU Blog Post)
Matthew Owens at The Spectator has gone sober, after years of hammering wine and rye whiskey, getting so bad that he opened fire on strangers at 5:00 AM with blanks from his Beretta and once "flung himself into bed and missed."
He assures us, though, that he still loathes teetotallers:
Teetotallers are as bad as people who insist on whipping out their phones to film fellow guests when they’re dancing. They’re buzz-killing squares who should learn to live a little.
It's a splendid little essay, though I fear you'll need a subscription to access it. Another excerpt:
Certain of my friends who have forsworn the demon drink claim that it was Alcoholics Anonymous that saved their lives. Good for them, but not for me. Famously, there is nothing more boring that listening to other people talk about their diets, their pets or their dreams. To this list I would add tales of other people’s sober journeys. To me, joining AA would be like being cursed to perform in a Sartre play that continues for eternity.
I gave up drinking. Don’t call me teetotal
I have, despite my worse judgment, recently mounted the wagon. Yet I continue to see myself as the Falstaffian life of the party.
Owen Matthews