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We can't pursue virtue without vice.

Every pursuit of virtue, after all, requires us to strive to advance our happiness. Every such pursuit, in other words, is selfish, which is the root of all vice.

It's a paradox.

Paradox, The Hemispheres, and the Tao
A basic tension mars the intellectual framework of the spiritual life. Pole 1: The first virtue of the spiritual life is humility, and humility is first and foremost selflessness. Pole 2: We cannot be so selfless that we don’t desire our own happiness. “The rational creature . . . cannot wish not to

It kinda sucks. We can't think our way out of it and, if we allow the paradox to seize hold of us, we'll sink into a sense of pointless despair. Instead, we need to accept the paradox and move on the best we can (de Caussade points out the method, btw, as does St. There's Little Way . . . if only we took the time to implement them thoroughly . . . something I lamentably haven't done, so I type here as a mere theorist who has merely gotten glimpses of "what could be").

Still, we need to keep that fundamental tension in mind: Every virtue can be a vice. Whenever we pursue something virtuous, it can develop into a selfish vice and, even worse, it might stem in the first place from selfishness, or perhaps even narcissism.

Such, it seems to me, is the problem that afflicts the newest trend to eschew the "boozy bachelorette" parties.

Now, I grimace a bit at the excessive bachelorette parties. I remember seeing bridesmaids surround the bachelorette on the Las Vegas strip as she hurled . . . at 11:30 in the morning. I've grown tired of hearing the girls scream on the streets of Austin, Fort Lauderdale, Nashville, and Chicago.

Part of me smiles and thinks it's kinda neat, but another part of me says, "You look like a cliche. Enough already." That part of me applauds young women who "think outside the box" and opt for a different way to celebrate their upcoming wedding.

But then I see quotes like this, and I think to myself, "I think I'd rather see that girl hurling on the Vegas strip."

“I’m not one to gravitate toward the bachelorette drinking and party scene because I like to prioritize my mental and physical well-being, so it was the perfect setting to allow me to indulge in that.”