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Benet's Reader's Encyclopedia

A tale told by an idiot

Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces, I see a groundhog. I hate him, but not as much as I hate Satan. Satan and groundhogs are kinda the same thing, except groundhogs stop once they've eaten everything in my garden. I hate groundhogs, but not as much as I hate the homeless. I know I'm not supposed to say that, but everyone hates the homeless. Even the homeless hate the homeless, which is why they stay away from one another, unless they're coming off a Fentanyl rush, then I guess they like to be together. That's why we have those tent cities. So all the addicts can kumbaya as they come down from their highs. Freakin' Chinese and Mexican cartels. They flooded the United States with that stuff. At least the Mexicans were just trying to make money. The Chinese are trying to destroy America. First the Wuhan flu (I can say that now), and then Fentanyl. I suspect Tex Tech Industries is part of it, too. They're the largest makers of tents. But maybe they're not part of it. Those tents in the homeless district look pretty shabby. They're not nice tents, like the Kardashians live in. Freakin' Kardashians. First, their dad frees OJ, then they help spawn the Kaitlin phenomenon. They can't even get their Christology right, adhering to pre-Chalcedonian bulls***, stuck in the year 450, which was way before even Elvis. Freakin' Eutyches. It's because of him we have Muslims. When those "Christians" wouldn't accept Chalcedon, we had to anathemize them and treat them like s*** (for the good of their souls), so when the Muslims came along and promised them that they'd treat them even s***tier unless they converted to Islam, they converted . . . .in droves. But some stuck with their heretical form of Christianity, which gave us today's Copts, who have suffered more from the Muslims than any other group, earning them my grudging respect, along with their heretical brothers in the Ethiopian, Syrian, and Kardashian Oriental Churches. I probably irritated my Zoroastrian readers. They suffered more from the Muslims than the Copts. Zoroastrian women were smokin' hot, and Zoroastrians weren't "people of the book" who deserved a modicum of respect, so Zoroastrian men were slaughtered. I'm guessing their women filled out those early Muslim harems. I wouldn't even want a harem. Men were given only one penis for a reason.