The Wednesday Eudemon

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“Sandwich days.” That’s what I call this time of year because my day is “sandwiched” by obligations. I have to get the kids to school at 7:30 a.m. then be some place in the late afternoon, leaving no time for anything except running. This week is an amazing whirl: Meg (7) soccer game at 5:30 last night; Jack (11) baseball at 5:30 tonight (I have the practice gear; gotta get there early); serving the Thursday 8:30 Communion service at church, Abbie (13) Exchange Club citizenship award at noon and soccer practice in evening, all children to church May Crowning ceremony; Jack baseball practice Friday. Relax on the weekend? Almost: Meg soccer game Saturday morning, Abbie away soccer game Saturday afternoon, two First Communion parties to attend, two kids have mandatory physicals. Sunday? Jack serves at 8:30 Mass, Godson getting confirmed at 10:30 Lutheran service, Godson confirmation party at 12:30.

Michael’s (9) baseball season starts next week.

Put a fork in me.

If I ever start to complain, my wife always (oh so gently) tells me to be grateful my kids are healthy and happy. If that doesn’t do it, she increases the rhetoric: You could be without work or one of our parents could die! If that doesn’t work, she plays hard ball: You could have testicular cancer and have three months to live! That one usually brings me around a bit.

Hippies, like, moan the world over, dude: Albert Hofmann, the father of the mind-altering drug LSD has died. He was 102. Hoffman first tripped at age 37 and defended the drug the rest of his life. “He himself took the drug — purportedly on an occasional basis and out of scientific interest — for several decades.” That slays me: “out of scientific interest.” Strictly scientific research, like the way people experiment with alcohol on the weekends.

Neat word I discovered yesterday: Gimcrack: A showy but useless or worthless object.

Maybe I should call this blog The Daily Gimcrack. Of course, some will think it callipygian. (Aside: That’s the second time this year I’ve used that word. In a culture fascinated with body parts, it’s nice to have relatively-urbane references for them. It allows one to relate without stooping tooooo far.)

Hey, beats tatoos: Some students at Centennial High School have shaved vertical lines into their eyebrows in a trend recently made popular by hip-hop star Soulja Boy. School officials say the mark looks like a gang symbol.

Crud, I don’t have time to read this one right now, but I’ve bookmarked it for later: But What About the Children? Lew Rockwell on a perennial excuse for the total state.

I detest the “What About the Children?” drumbeat. It’s used to justify anything and everything burdensome on the common man. But at the same time, we legalize abortions. I guess it makes sense. Because we take so much collective responsibility for children (instead of putting the onus on the parents), we don’t want yet more children, especially ones that will more likely fall within our collective responsibility (read: the poor and minorities, hence recent allegations that Planned Parenthood is engaged in a type of racial genocide against blacks . . . allegations that are consistent with PP’s roots).

Maybe if we said, “We won’t be responsible for your children. Do what you want,” we wouldn’t be so inclined to support abortion. Just a theory. I’m not really supposing we abandon children to the likes of the Incestuous Monster of Austria; as a society, we have an obligation to protect the most vulnerable. But something needs to give.

A progressive couple. They just didn’t want to wait until the honeymoon was over:

A newly married Pennsylvania couple spent their wedding night in separate “honeymoon suites” at the Allegheny County jail after authorities said they got into a postnuptial brawl with each other and members of another wedding party. David Wielechowski, 32, allegedly karate-kicked his new bride, Christa Vattimo, 25, to the floor.


Good Leno: “A man has staged a sit-in for prayer at a gas station asking God for lower gas prices. Doesn’t that seem a like a question for Allah?”

Good Conan:

Hillary Clinton says she’s willing to debate Barack Obama “anytime, anywhere” and would even meet him in the back of a truck. Which is surprising, because the “anytime, anywhere, even in the back of a truck” offer is usually made by Bill Clinton.

Today John McCain campaigned across the state of Florida. McCain likes campaigning in Florida because everyone there calls him “the kid.”

“American Idol’s” ratings have been slipping this year, so producers are thinking about making some changes to the show to make if more exciting. For example, from now on contestants will be eliminated by a sniper.