The Tuesday Eudemon

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My first issue of Rolling Stone arrived yesterday. Yup, I’m now a subscriber to the gray haired hippie rag. I received a subscription when I signed up as a member of the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame during my visit last summer. The cost of getting my large family in the door was cheaper with a membership, so it was free.

I’m a bit stunned by its leftist partisanship. I always knew it was a liberal rag, but I didn’t realize it was relentlessly so. It makes Mother Jones look middle-of-the-road. Here’s the cover story: “Time to Go! Inside the Worst Congress Ever. Plus: Meet the 10 Worst Congressmen.” Nine of them are Republicans. I think the one Democrat is a mere token (“We’re objective!”). Maybe they’re right, of course, but when one of the most-publicized scandals is a homosexual email exchange, it makes me wonder.

Still, I’m kinda enjoying it. It’s good browsing, and I learn all sorts of tidbits that are probably common knowledge to People Magazine people: Tony Bennett has a top-selling album right now (number 4), as does Fergie (13, and it was 9). Jann Wenner is still alive (I know that b/c he’s still on the masthead). Tower Records is gone (bankrupted and liquidated). Katherine McPhee (American Idol star) is doing well with advertising endorsements. Weird Al Yankovic’s favorite song of all time is “Surfin’ Bird” by The Trashmen. I wouldn’t rank it first, but it’s a pretty cool song.

I learned all that in seven minutes. That’s not bad. Granted, it’s not useful information (I doubt St. Peter will ask me the Weird Al question), but it’s nice to keep abreast. And this magazine shows lots of breasts.

I see Nicaragua has opted for coat hangers: It has banned almost all abortions. It’s only a matter of time, of course, before they make women walk eight feet behind men and beat them like poorly-behaved bovines. The UN tried to save the day, of course:

The vote in favor of the pro-life bill capped an energetic lobbying campaign in which 300,000 Nicaraguans signed a petition in support of the legislation. But just prior to the vote, lawmakers received a message signed by the local representative of the UN Development Program, and by envoys of several donor nations, urging defeat of the measure.

What really stinks is, now the European Union won’t admit Nicaragua.

On the other side of abortion (the survivor side),
Bill Cosby is blasting black parents again
. It’s refreshing to hear someone say the hard things, but he’s been blasting black parents for years now, hasn’t he?

Ah, those high school pranksters: A high school student found a used needle and syringe by the side of a road and jabbed eight fellow students over two days, police and school officials said. . . . “He just walked up and stabbed me with a needle and said, ‘You now have hepatitis,”‘ said student Ava Staples. He’s been charged with eight counts of assault. Students and parents are worried. I say: They need to stop being so close-minded. Just because it was a used needle, doesn’t mean it was contaminated. I hate the stereotyping.

More scary (Halloween) news: The greatest pumpkin. 1,502 pounds. We don’t know how many illegal immigrants were needed to harvest it, but without illegal immigrants, I’m sure this pumpkin never would’ve made it to NYC for the rest of us to enjoy.

Bettnet has another scary story: Prostitute-turned-priest-turned-politician. And it’s not the world’s oldest profession kind of prostitution. It’s that new-fangled gay stuff. You know, the kind in Midnight Cowboy. The candidate left the prostitutehood after getting beatin’ by a client. The story doesn’t say whether he got an extra $5 for the beating.

Sad news: Reese Witherspoon has split with her husband. My daughter loves Witherspoon and thinks it’s great that she kept her marriage together for so long (7 years, which is 49 in Hollywood dog years). Maybe I’ll just point out that nothing lasts in Hollywood, except silicone. In Hollywood, even the best are the worst.

Well, maybe not the very worst: Mom accused of giving baby cocaine.