Skip to content

Just don't call it "Blackout Wednesday"

It’s here!

Black Wednesday 2021.

My erstwhile traveling companion has the COVID, so he won’t be joining me, but I’ll have three sons in tow, thereby smashing the previous record held by my Dad (one son . . . me). Now, my brother will show up later with his three boys, but I’m talking about the Black Wednesday afternoon session when noble souls like mine get to the bar in the afternoon to reserve a table for everyone else. I’ll set the record today with my three eldest boys.

Can we make one thing clear?

It’s Black Wednesday. It’s not “Drinksgiving” or “Blackout Wednesday.”

I say this for a few reasons.

First, it was “Black Wednesday” before the trolls among us decided to change it from something beautiful to something debauched, and it was “Black Wednesday” years before some hipster female blogger called it “Drinksgiving.”

Second, “Blackout Wednesday” fails the symmetry test. It’s “Black Friday.” It’s “Black Monday.” It’s not “Blackout Wednesday.” You may think it’s edgy to add the grave sin suffix, but it’s not. It’s just stupid.

Third, “Drinksgiving” is simply lame. “Drink” doesn’t rhyme with “Thanks,” any more than “Moron” rhymes with “Dolt,” both of which describe anyone who uses that stupid phrase.

Fourth, it honors our BLM brethren better than the other two.

Fifth, I say so. I’d been throwing down on Black Wednesday years before anyone even realized there was a Black Wednesday. I remember telling people, “Come out to the bar. You have a four-day weekend.” My high school friends all realized it but it seemed to escape the public at large. That was in the late 1980s. By the early 2000s, the term “Black Wednesday” was getting tossed around. Merely by virtue of longevity in the Black Wednesday wars, I claim the naming rights.

Dispute my claim if you wish.

It’s over such stupid things that loud drunken bar discussions are made.

I hope to have many such discussions tonight.