On-Line Confessions

This story says evangelical Christians are going on-line to confess their sins.

I've argued many times that confessing is perhaps the most natural sacrament in the world. If people don't confess, they'll need some other outlet: the psychiatric couch, Oprah, the blog. In this case, they're opting for the on-line forum.

Best part of the on-line forum: the rest of us can read the confessions. There are some pretty good ones. Here's a guy, for instance, who used the forum to confess the sin of drunkenness . . . and to make clear that he's a heckuva man:

I am an avid drinker and the problem is it causes no problems in my outward living. I am an over-achiever, great parent, loving spouse; I pay all my bills, tithe, keep all my promises and never miss my time with God, but I hide how much I actually drink.

My on-line advice: Stop thinking about what a great guy you are, then you won't need to drink to cover up all the ways you fall short. (Yeah, I know it's not great advice, but I don't have enough details to work with, plus I'm freelancing here, with no formal training). Additional advice: drink a Zing.

Sin:

On a few isolated occasions, I have had homosexual fantasies.

My Advice:
Stay home, lock your doors, never go out, hide your whiskey from yourself, and don't travel to San Fransisco. Drink a lite beer.

Sin:

I smoke when I feel overwhelmed. Odd thing is that my best prayer conversations also happen when I smoke. I tried the patch...heart went racing and doc said to stop. Tried the gum...nothing. I really need deliverance.

Advice: Switch to a pipe, and pray when you smoke. Don't watch Deliverance, or you could end up like that previous confessor. Drink a beer.

Sin:

I feel lonely and sad a lot of the time but when I am around others I pretend my life is great and I have it all together.

Advice: Only a person who thinks they need to wear their heart on their sleeve would think that is a sin. Drink a beer.

Sin:

I have a hard time not looking at my girlfriend's anatomy. Not that we sleep together or that she intentionally exposes it before me, but I stare and imagine her naked all the time. I want to overcome this before our relationship goes any further.

Advice: You sound like a good young man. You should be attracted to your girlfriend's body, and you're not going to overcome it while you're dating her. That's what marriage is for (read that however you want).

Serious note: The site is broken down into 18 categories. The most popular (the one with the most confessions)? Pornography, hands down. That stuff is an absolute scourge. These evangelicals suffer from it b/c our entire country suffers from it. Anyone who wants to escape its clutches must first escape our sexualized culture that leads to it (MTV, billboards, beer commercials, etc. and etc. and etc.). And that, obviously, is extremely hard to do.