Shocker, Shocker: Foreigners Steal from the United States

You'd expect more from a governor who put tampon dispensers in men's rooms.

But no: corruption has ran rampant in Tim Walz's Minnesota, especially among their immigrant Somali community. where money stolen from public coffers is sent to that place the Somalis love: home.

Stupid Somalis. How can they love their home more than the home of George Floyd Square and the Say Their Names Memorial Garden?

Here's the brutal truth: no immigrant wants to be here. He's only here because it's better than being "there." That's the thing about immigration that makes it both sad and scary. Those poor slobs didn't want to uproot and come here, but things suck so bad back home, they felt like they had to.

And whenever they can, they'll send money to make things better for their loved ones at home.

It's natural.

It's also, in their eyes, justice.

Most non-Americans think you're rich because you took the wealth from them. They have no moral qualms about stealing it back.

And they're not wrong.

For starters, ya got the whole world reserve currency racket: we create dollars and export them to the world in exchange for real stuff, like commodities. We get valuable resources in exchange for something we create by clicking a keyboard.

This doesn't really bother me. In a world economy, someone's money's gotta be the common currency. It's not much different than the rest of the world speaking English. It's helpful to have a currency and language that everyone has in common, and Latin and the denarius ain't comin' back.

Someone's gotta have the Big Swinging Dick. It might as well be the dollar.

Now, I wish we didn't abuse the shit out of the arrangement by printing trillions for COVID freebies, 2009 Wall Street bailouts, and graft for all those governmental NGOs. I also think it's outrageous that, whenever a nation starts making noise about trying to make its money the reserve currency, the U.S. flexes hard. When the BRICS signaled they were developing their own currency to offer the world an alternative cock, Trump growled and made it clear: "No dicks for BRICS."

We are, and will remain, the BSD because everyone loves it when we bash it against the side of their head.

I move on.

The second way we steal from other countries is, well, we steal from them. We use "soft" force to persuade countries to give us their shit at blowout prices. Foreign aid that leaders can siphon off is our favorite form of soft force. Propaganda is probably a close second.

And if soft force doesn't work, we whack that BSD against the side of their heads: "regime change."

St. Michael Benz has painstakingly tried to explain how soft force is necessary to sustain the American standard of living. By getting resources cheap, we get more of them. So instead of working 50 hours at the office to get that Skydio drone with God Mode, you just have to work 40 hours.

If we didn't use soft force in the Congo to lock in low cobalt prices (Benz's favorite example), the batteries for that Skydio would force you to stay at the office until 5:30 sometimes.

So yeah, those Somalis stole from America and sent the money back to Somalia. I fault the Somalians for the theft but I don't fault their motivation or their logic.

Their hearts and heads are in the right place.

It's only their bodies that are in the wrong place.