Entertainment Wednesday

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Not So Rotten Caine

Ever since his performance in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels with Steve Martin, I’ve liked Michael Caine. I’ll probably hear at some point that he’s a rabid sexularist, but until then, I’ll continue to like him. And who knows, maybe he’s not a lefty. He’s been married to the same woman for over 35 years, and he was friends with the right-leaning John Wayne. The current issue of New York Magazine featured a short but enjoyable interview with him. Highly recommended, though PG-13 in some of its content.

I saw John Wayne in the lobby, and I was gawking at him. He said, “What’s your name?” He’d just seen Alfie. Wayne became a friend. He gave me advice, like: “Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too f****** much,” and “Never wear suede shoes, because one day, Michael, you’ll be taking a p***, and the guy next to you will recognize you, and he’ll turn toward you and say, ‘Michael Caine!’ and p*** all over your shoes.” I couldn’t make this s*** up.

* * *

I did a terrible picture called The Swarm, but Henry Fonda was in it. He was a gardener like me, so we had a lot in common. He had bees, and he used to send you over Hank’s Honey—he wrote that in pen on the labels of used jam jars.

* * *

I was friends with Stan Getz, and Lionel Bart, who wrote Oliver! The painter Francis Bacon lived next door. He always tried to get me into his studio to paint me, but he was very gay and I thought, “I’m not going up there.”

Politically-Incorrect Bears

My daughter Abbie (14) was telling me about a funny clip she saw from the original Bad News Bears. We started talking about the movie and went downstairs to check out Youtube clips. We pulled up this one. For some reason, I don’t think this line made into the re-make. What line? Go to 3:20 (minute 3, second 20) and watch for ten seconds. Caution: If you’re under age 30, work for a college or university, think Plato was an anti-Semite, consider Al Sharpton a handsome man, or have ever earnestly used the word “racism” in serious conversation, don’t look. If you do, don’t get mad at me. I’m just cutting-and-pasting links here.

The Pastels?

My older brothers used to listen to a lot of Pink Floyd. My father used to remark, “What’s that crap? Purple Clyde?” Based on the unremarkable origin of their band name, the name Purple Clyde isn’t improbable. This link has the story behind the origin of eight band names. I especially liked this passage about Black Sabbath’s original name: “Ozzy’s band of mischief didn’t start off nearly as dark as it ended up. The group’s first name was ‘The Polka Tulk Blues Company,’ which was soon shortened to just ‘Polka Tulk.'”

Too bad we couldn’t get Ozzy’s Polka Tulk up to the annual Frankenmuth Summer Music Festival (which features nothing but Polka).

New Kind of Flaming Monks

The Roman Catholic Church hasn’t had a stellar record recently when it comes to homosexuals in robes, but at least we haven’t endorsed ’em by setting up guidelines that recognizes their, um, unique ways, instead of simply throwing them out: A Buddhist leader in Thailand has announced plans for a new set of guidelines to curb the behavior of homosexual and transgender monks.

Phra Maha Wudhijaya Vajiramedhi, a senior monk, told the BBC the guidelines would address issues like smoking, drinking alcohol, walking and going to the toilet properly, which are all detailed in the traditional 75 Dharma principles of Buddhism, and the 227 precepts for monks.

But he was especially concerned, he said, by the flamboyant behaviour of homosexual and transgender monks, who can often be seen wearing revealing robes, carrying pink purses and sporting effeminately-shaped eyebrows.

I’m no Buddhist expert, but it would seem such folks are pretty far removed from the Four Noble Truths, which basically boil down to a love-less version of Christian teachings about the flesh and detachment from things of the flesh.

The Buddha taught that the way to extinguish desire, which causes suffering, is to liberate oneself from attachment.

This is the third Noble Truth – the possibility of liberation.

The Buddha was a living example that this is possible in a human lifetime.

Bhikkhus, when a noble follower who has heard (the truth) sees thus, he finds estrangement in the eye, finds estrangement in forms, finds estrangement in eye-consciousness, finds estrangement in eye-contact, and whatever is felt as pleasant or painful or neither-painful- nor-pleasant that arises with eye-contact for its indispensable condition, in that too he finds estrangement.

Oh well, it wouldn’t be the first time things have gone terribly awry for the venerable religion. Whereas I firmly believe Christianity has gone off the rails at times because of human error, I firmly believe Buddhism has gone off the rails because of fundamental flaws in its metaphysical foundations. See the TDE Annex.

Received in an email (slightly altered):
Take That Towel and Shove It
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).

These boys will be dropped off in Afghanistan and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, or country music.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday.


Readers sometimes send me links of potential interest, some do so half-apologetically, like they’re concerned that they’re bothering me. That’s never the case. If you find it entertaining or interesting, send it. Chances are, others will like it. It can even be an advertisement for your favorite transsexual brothel. If I find it entertaining, I’ll run it.

Sexularist: n, a secularist–normally on the left–who is more concerned about promoting illicit sex than goodness. Usually pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage, pro-animal rights, anti-religion (“Not so, we’re only against organized religion!”), anti-white guys, anti-tradition.


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