Brews You Can Use

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Diabolical! A rough week like this one calls for Friday afternoon beers, but I have little league practice at 5:30, and I’m pretty sure one of my fellow coaches is the teetotaling type that would be pretty mad if I showed up wobbly. That really stinks. Maybe I’ll have a few anyway and act like my allergies, a lack of sleep, and medications are really taking their toll on me. He’s a heckuva nice guy, the kind who tries to think the best of people. I think he’ll buy it.
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Safe to move to Colorado now . . . assuming the gays don’t get you: Beginning July 1 Colorado will end a 75-year-old blue law and allow liquor stores to open. I had no idea that any states outside the south had such blue laws in effect any more (and I’m just assuming some southern states still have such laws, but I don’t know).
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I guess such laws are still pretty common. Indiana, Georgia, New Jersey, New Mexico, Minnesota, Missouri, Tennessee, Massachusetts, Michigan and Ohio all have some form of blue laws on the books (Michigan’s is pretty mild: no liquor sales before noon). There may be others, but those are states that have been looking to repeal them, according to this U.S.Today article.
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It’s been awhile since I read Goethe’s Faust (alright, I’ve never read it), but didn’t Professor Faust use a six-pack of this to get the devil so drunk that he couldn’t snatch his soul?

Mephistopheles.jpg
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Received from an old fraternity brother:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Nope, no more booze for me!
2. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
3. Taco Bell ? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
6. I’m not interested in fighting you.
7. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool.
8. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to go in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
9. I must be going home now. I have to work in the morning.

4 Comments

  1. Meistergoat
  2. R