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Marriage implies the negation of self, and the negation of self is an invitation to God. When married, the individuals are no longer two, but are one flesh. Mt. 19:6. The self-centeredness that is the essence of the flesh is, by the very act of marriage, crippled. The self-interest that drives the individual receives a serious blow, a blow that leaves a person disposed towards some amount of selflessness. The resulting soul is turned outward, ready to accept others. And better disposed to accepting the ultimate other, God.

This truth about love and marriage is not limited to the Christian religion. It is a truth rooted in the cosmos. Socrates recognized the same truth. In Plato's Phaedrus, Socrates spoke of a form of eros that is “true loving yearning, enchantment, self-giving, and non-calculating rapture” with another person. Those who possess this kind of love, this mania, rise above their own selfishness and are ready for the divine. “When they die, the soul will leave the body not with perfect wings but, at least, with sprouting ones. Because the soul had already set foot on the path of the heavens, it will not get lost in darkness.” Josef Pieper (discussing the Phaedrus).

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