The Monday Moanin’ Eudemon

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What better way to perk up on Monday morning than to read this: testosterone levels are falling across the United State. Researchers don’t know why. I’ll hazard a guess: Men are so over-sexed, they get tired of it and don’t want It as much, so their bodies decrease production of testosterone. There are all sorts of reasons why my theory is probably bunk (Caligula and other notorious over-sexed freaks didn’t want less sex). Still, it’s not too bad. I think I’ll try it out this week. Blogging might be light.

A teenager who decided to get her breasts pierced for her 18th birthday faces reconstructive surgery after a flesh-destroying infection forced doctors to remove her left breast. You’d think self-loathing body mutilation would be a lot safer.

Related: When will they bring back female circumcision? The feminists tell us that the barbaric practice is the height of patriarchy. Based on the popularity of breast and underneath piercing, I’m thinking women incline to it naturally and it’ll make a come back. Bring on the foot binding, too!

And perhaps the feel-good story of the day: Possibly the largest “Jesus loves you” sign in the world: each letter is about 31 feet long. When I first looked at the picture, I thought it was carved into the landscape, kinda like crop circles, and was wondering whether English-speaking Christian aliens had arrived from Galaxy 9.

Looking for healthy treats to give away this Halloween. Go here. Later, I’ll try to post a list of hints to get soap, wax, and egg off your house. If you use healthy treats, you’re gonna need the hints.

And finally: I hit a goldmine Saturday night at my local bookstore (all used):

Samuel Johnson: Rasselas, Poems and Selected Prose: 600 pages, $2.00 (but lots of underlining).

The Wisdom of Tolstoy: $3.00 (short, but like new).

An Oral Biography of Jack Kerouac: $4.00 (like new).

Visions of Kerouac: The Life of Jack Kerouac: $2.50 (good condition).

Germany: Myths and Legends: $2.50 (good condition–my father is 100% German; he reads this blog; I think he just drooled on himself)

Ancient Myths: A Vivid Re-creation of the Great Myths of Mankind–from Sumer to imperial Rome: $1.00 (This was a flier, but for a buck? No good nerd could say no)