Looking for ways to stand out this Christmas? Here are some classy ideas:
Replace all your manger scene characters with Star Wars figures.
Hit on women while caroling at the local old folks home.
Blare “I'm Mr. Heat Miser” from your house all night on Christmas Eve.
Make a donation in someone's name to NAMBLA.
Petition City Hall to include Elvis in its multi-cultural holiday display.
Use obscenities while karoaking Christmas songs at your office Christmas party.
Use lots of disco lights for outside decorations, along with other night club accoutrements from the 1970s.
Decorate your Christmas tree with empty beer cans.
Hire a female Santa Clause at your kids' Christmas party in order to be “gender inclusive.”
Use marijuana in your Christmas seasonings.
Re-write Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer to make it gay friendly.
Invent spooky Christmas stories for the children: The Year of the Zombie Santa Clause, Rudolph Goes Berserk, Frosty the Drunken Elf Beater.
