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Parish HallQueer Winds Blowing Ahead

The spring blitz continued over the weekend. We got a call at 9:00 Friday night, telling us that our son needed to be at a ball diamond sixty minutes away by 7:00 a.m. the next morning. Yuck. I spent all morning Saturday at the field, suffering through my self-inflicted suffering (my wife didn’t want him in the league; I kinda did, plus I wanted to help out a friend who needed Jack to round out the team). But the good news: I got through the entire current issue of New York Magazine, and I can say without qualms: The gay culture is more twisted and more intent on sodomizing society than I thought. First, there’s this story: Women who become “men,” so they can date men. This odd creature is called a “transman,” presumably because “Forkin’ Nut-job” is too generic. NY Mag, of course, treats it all as perfectly normal: “He’s an exemplar for a new generation less concerned with gender boundaries.” Ah yes, gender boundaries, kinda like the boundary of my yard, which I walk across all the time. I understand now. * * * * * * * That chilled my spine enough, but then later, starting on page 36, I read about the networks’ intent to take the battle of normalizing queerness to the next level. NYM can’t contain its excitement about “Modern Family,” but the network knows it needs to be a little more low-key about it: “I’m very protective of Mitchell and Cameron, of their relationship. I would like to see them show more physical affection—we film scenes several ways, including kisses—but at the same time we’re moving cautiously, because it’s sort of a gay Trojan horse in people’s living rooms.” Emphasis added. It’s not often you see such a candid admission of clandestine efforts to usurp the culture. * * * * * * * I know, I know. You want to know why I read New York Magazine. Well, it’s very well-written, plus it’s about New York, and I’m somewhat infatuated with the Big Apple. I generally enjoy the stories, plus there are times when I’m due for a shower but don’t feel dirty enough. When that’s the case, I just read a few pages of NYM, and I’m ready for the soap and water. Works every time. * * * * * * * And what about the picture at the top of this post? It’s nothing, just something I received in an email that had lots of hilariously-ironic pictures, but it’s impossible to know which are real and which aren’t.