Why Johnny Hasn't a Clue About Anything

Beginning in September, elementary students in Palm Beach County will see only a 1, 2 or 3 grade for each subject and skill, the Palm Beach Post reported.

According to the report, a 1 means the student is working a year or more below grade level, a 2 indicates the student is working less than a year below grade level, and a 3 means he or she is working at or above grade level.

Some school districts, such as in Detroit, have done away with letter grades, while others use a combination of letters and numbers to judge performance.

In the Albuquerque School District's 20 elementary schools, standard report cards have been replaced by progress reports that assess performance levels using terms such as "emerging," "nearing proficient," "proficient" and "advanced."

Number grades also are becoming more popular in California schools as districts attempt to better measure how kids are doing in relation to statewide standards.

Keep it vague, keep it changing. When "1" becomes opprobrious, change the system to a series of symbols: @, !, *, : ). When the kids figure out the symbols and realize that @ = dufus, change the symbols, but this time keep the symbol key a secret. If that doesn't work, just throw up your hands and yell @!*:)!