Give Him the Nobel
Is your bartender pulling back a second early on the tap, leaving you a centimeter or two shy of the top? It's costing you buzz. The new Beer Gauge tells you how much. "[T]he majority of the volume in a standard US pint glass is in the relatively small height in the top part of the glass. In fact, if a beer is poured to within about 1/2 inch from the top, 13% of the beer is GONE. If the beer is poured to about one inch from the top of the glass, an astonishing 25% of the beer is missing from your pint." Just put the credit-card-sized gauge next to the glass, and it'll tell you how much you're missing. If you're shorted an inch on four pints, you've been shorted a whole pint. And if it's a craft beer, that's $4 or more.
Sext Messages
Oh, take me back to my high school days, when beer was plentiful and sex was still somewhat special. Fox News has posted the Top 50 Text Acronyms a Parent Should Know. They're filthy . . . and not a single one of them pertains to drinking. So hats off to the shepherds of America's youngsters: They're disease-ridden whores, but they're sober disease-ridden whores.
I'd rather my kid get drunk with me.
The Drug Tax
Well, I'll be danged: Some states tax illegal drug possession. I don't know if it's brilliant or deranged. It has a Capone/Ness ring to it:
Several American states now have laws whereby you are supposed to pay taxes on illegal drugs that you have in your possession.
For example, in the State of North Carolina, there has been a tax law in relation to illegal drugs since 1990. If you want to pay this tax, you can go to a local revenue office and pay a certain amount to show that your illegal drugs are legally taxed.
79 people have, apparently, decided to pay this tax in the last 19 years.
The main source of revenue, however, is from those who don't pay it and are fined for a failure to pay after arrested in possession of illegal drugs.
Giant Beer Me
You'll need a big beer to wash them down: Extreme-eating portions. Pretty gross. Sample: "Jack & Grill in Denver, CO, is famous for their breakfast burrito challenge. Each of these seven pound behemoths contains eight eggs, one pound of ham, grilled potatoes, onions, chili and cheese, all wrapped up inside a gargantuan tortilla."
