I took my wife to see "Taken" last night (recommended, but not great), and I have the Sirius interview in just a little while, so blogging time is at a premium. For today, just this FtN:
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A certain procedure works well, then I get anxious about it. It makes my life easier, then it makes my life harder.
Let me give an example. I'm an attorney with a busy practice. I don't like to work more than 45 hours a week, but am frequently pressed not to exceed it. It's also difficult to turn down the overflow projects, since I keep the vast majority of the money I earn. To alleviate the tension, I bring a briefcase home with me, filled with little projects. Ten minutes here, twenty minutes there. I do that a few times a week, and I could bring in a nice little bonus at the end of the year. And it's rather effortless.
Awhile back, I discovered that, for reasons not relevant here, late Saturday mornings are a good time for me to knock off an hour or so of briefcase work. I also discovered that the ten minute lull before dinner is finally ready, is a nice little hole of billable time.
The result? I started fretting when it looked like those burrows wouldn't be available to me, when I'd be called upon to use that time for something else. I also started fretting that I was forsaking my leisure time, time that should be spent idly, doing the activity of nothing, when the best thoughts and concepts hit a person. I started fretting that I should be using those idle moments to play with my kids or to read more important stuff (like lives of the saints, philosophy, history).
A bunch of little frets.
All because I found a little blessing.
Why?
Hard to say. Perhaps such an adverse reaction is unique to me, in which case I probably suffer from sort of neurosis that I have to deal with and that is irrelevant to others.
But I typically find that my problems aren't unique. Others probably suffer from the same sort of thing. Maybe to greater or lesser degrees, but still the same thing. They may not be aware of a particular problem, but they suffer from it.
If that's the case, then the problem is rooted in the human condition, either primordially (e.g., the goodness of creation, but stained by original sin) or culturally (e.g., the impact of particular cultural phenomena, like electronic media and technology, on our general living condition) or a mix of the two.
It seems all human problems, reactions, dispositions, whatever, come from one of those four sources: (1) neurosis; (2) primordial human condition; (3) cultural human condition; (4) combination of primordial and cultural human condition. Of course, neurosis could combine to exacerbate any of the others, so perhaps there are five sources.
This is a little too simplistic, of course. Under neurosis, we could place many different things, ranging from true psychological disturbances to mere "personalism"–a certain measure of subjectivity and personal experiences that others haven't had. The reference to "primoridal" human condition opens gaping cracks of consideration, and cultural influences are complex and shifting.
But the scheme is a useful framework. And what light does it shed on my tendency to turn little blessings into little frets?
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Later addendum: Well, the interview is over. I'm not sure how it went. I was getting some odd feedback in my headset and it was rattlin' me a bit. If anyone heard it, I'd like to hear feedback (positive, raving, "oh you mighty stud" reviews in the comments box; all others by email).
