Mother's Day went well. I started it by breaking my boycott of McDonald's and bringing my wife a breakfast burrito early in the morning. We then went to church, after which I bought her seven roses (a right-to-life fundraiser). After church, we gave Marie her presents, exercised, then went to see Speed Racer. That was a road bump. Horrible movie, the worst movie I can remember. Characters came out of nowhere and weren't developed, the movie chronology jumped mercilessly, the animation was neat but so wild that you couldn't figure out what was going on, there were more cliches than pixels. I think Roger Ebert's review did the best job of capturing my opinion:
As an elementary schooler, Speed is afflicted with foot-tapping hyperactivity and ADD, and so is the movie. A lot of fluorescent, 7-Eleven-tinted images flash by, any of which could easily be removed or re-arranged without significantly disrupting the film's continuity, because it has none. If you can determine the spatial relationship between Speed's Mach 5 (or Mach 6) and any other race car for more than a few consecutive seconds, then good for you. As on the TV series, the pictures don't seem to move so much as repeat -- movement with no momentum.
I'd give it a "3," and the only reason I'm going that high is because the ending wasn't bad and my five youngest children really enjoyed it. Then again, my younger children like any movie. At what age does the chair of film discretion go into a child's mental furniture? I'm guessing 14. My oldest son (15) realized that the film was clearly garbage, but my oldest daughter (13) didn't quite see it that way (she liked it, but she also discerned an element of lameness in it).
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I'm assuming my Ave Maria mutual fund shares won't feel the impact: Adult entertainment publisher Playboy Enterprises Inc posted a quarterly loss on Tuesday because of weaker publishing and domestic television revenue and forecast more trouble during the year, pushing its shares down 8 percent.
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For American Idol fans: TMZ has learned David Archuleta's dad, Jeff, has been officially banned from "American Idol." Here's how it went down. "Idol" sources tell TMZ Jeff has been a complete pain in the ass, interfering with the entire production. He has badgered producers, the band, vocal coaches and even other contestants. . . . BTW, he was banned on the set when David did "Star Search" a few years back. Why do I care? Because (i) I said during week one of the finalist competition that Archuleta's "Gee, I'm shocked I'm doing this well" was a phony act, but my family thought he was a sincere kid, and (ii) I have David Cook in the family American Idol pool. I stand to win $5, if the rest of the America understands that the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.
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Sweet: Marvel has announced a slew of new productions, including Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America and one featuring all three characters, The Avengers. I've liked all the superhero movies except Iron Man, and I'm willing to give him another shot.
