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# Marriage Quotes
- URL: https://thedailyeudemon.com/5991/
- Published: 2008-05-28T10:47:45.000Z
- Updated: 2008-05-28T10:47:45.000Z
- Author: Eric Scheske
- Tags: Humor, #wpChunk

Soccer game, baseball game, Marie in Chicago with oldest daughter. I'm beat. Quotes like these are made for days with no blogging time. Sorry if you've seen them already:

"Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts" - Jeff Foxworthy

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." - Groucho Marx

"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once." - H.V. Prochnow

"I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it." - Lyndon B. Johnson

"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't."- Unknown

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield

"Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot."- Minnie Pearl

"Behind every great man there is a surprised woman." - Maryon Pearson

"They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet." - Mae West

"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too."  
 \- H.L. Mencken

"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." - Rodney Dangerfield

"No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single." - H.L. Mencken

"A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers." - Grace Hansen

"If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family." - Lawrence Housman

"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women." - Marion Smith

"Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?" - Barbra Streisand

"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."  
 \- Erma Bombeck

"I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married."  
 \- Lewis Grizzard

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran