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# The Birthday Eudemon
- URL: https://thedailyeudemon.com/5956/
- Published: 2008-03-06T11:43:56.000Z
- Updated: 2008-03-06T11:43:56.000Z
- Author: Eric Scheske
- Tags: Family, #wpChunk

My wife turns 40 today. No, she won't mind this indiscretion. Other than toddlers, she's the least self-conscious person I've ever met. So what tribute can I give my wife on this occasion, her official entry into middle-agedom? How about this: The admission that I wrote a book about her. It was such a sappy thing to do, I've never admitted it to anyone, including her. It's not finished, but it's well past the novella length. I looked for something to paste here that might be interesting to TDE readers, but I didn't have much time and nothing was jumping out at me. This is probably the most interesting thing:

> I have written a hagiographical work as a lesson to all husbands: Your wife is probably more lovable and virtuous than you know. At the beginning of this book, I cited Barbara Ueland's observation that, if you truly want to know someone, write a story about him or her. I had the outline of Marie's story in my head, but the sideline insights into Marie's character didn't come to me until I wrote.

> The same would happen with any “average” housewife. Each housewife has her own set of virtues and traits (they wouldn't, for instance, necessarily have Marie's St. Therese-like quality of littleness). But these virtues and traits aren't appreciated until they're looked at objectively. If my experience is any indication, our wives' virtues aren't appreciated at all day-to-day. We're so wrapped up in the crises of the average day, so wrapped in our individual concerns, that objectivity is completely lost. When I come home from work after a long day, I'm rarely looking at anything clearly: Everything is a mess; life is a mess; the kids are loud. Everything affects me adversely, including Marie.

> When that happens, I know I'm not looking at things objectively. Everything on earth is imbued with goodness. If the goodness of things isn't taking precedence in my vision at any given moment, I can be sure that something in me–like passion–is blurring my vision. As a husband and father, I walk with blurred vision; it is my regular mode of operation.

> When I sit down to write, my vision clears. And when I sat down to write about Marie, my vision cleared and I was able to see the shining gem that I call my wife. It's a vision that I hope to keep in front of me always. The vision will blur, of course, for I am a sinner. But the vision will hopefully come into focus more and more as I learn to love more and more, thus shrinking the refracting lens of ego that throws everything into a blur.

> So I guess it's not surprising that I've written a hagiographical work. The goal of every hagiography is to clear our vision.

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Shifting gears: There are only 300 days left in the year.  
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[Guess the bald celebrity](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in%5Farticle%5Fid=527402&in%5Fpage%5Fid=1773&ref=thedailyeudemon.com).  
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Let me guess: You're kind of the self-absorbed type, right? [An Illinois man is in trouble after landing his private plane on a golf course because his son was late for a tennis lesson](http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm%5F2755219.html?menu=news.quirkies&ref=thedailyeudemon.com).  
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[Man unleashes F weapon 73 times during a deposition. Judge fines him and his lawyer $29,000\. It works out to $367 per](http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2008/03/05/profanity-filled-depo-costs-lawyer-and-client-29k/?mod=djemWLB&reflink=djemWLB&ref=thedailyeudemon.com). The fine should've been higher.