Monday Miscellany
Man, brutal weekend. Over five hours spent at the local youth athletic field on Saturday, then middle-kid duty for about six hours while my wife attended band and soccer functions at locations more than an hour away. I slept like a rock Saturday night, but woke up feeling like a log Sunday morning, then we had a 75-minute Mass, which, combined with my climbing two-year-old and getting-better-but-still-high-maintenance four-year-old, I thought was going to kill me. I crash napped afterwards, but was still tired all day. When I woke up this morning and recalled that it's everyone's favorite saint's feast day (Saint Therese--the Little), I remembered a statement by Clare Booth Luce, to the effect that little Therese knew she couldn't carry a big cross, so every day she furtively picked up little pieces of sufferings--patiently bearing insults, doing small acts of charity, helping out quietly. By the end of the day, she was carrying a big cross. Maybe that's me these weekends of non-stop soccer, football, band, and long Masses with toddlers. Of course, Therese wouldn't complain about it. I might, just might, have a little ways to go.
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The sister of a friend has started a website to encourage little kids to read and write. I can vouch for neither the site (which apparently doesn't use the oxford comma; a small strike against it, but then again, neither do some of my favorite publications) nor the sister, but I can vouch for my friend. If these things interest you, please check it out.
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That's all for today. I'm off-and-running late this morning. But I have two funnies:
Received in an email:
A cocky State Highway employee told a farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road." The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field."
The State Highways employee said, "See this card? I have the authority of the state government to go anywhere I want."
The old farmer nodded went about his chores.
Soon, he heard screams and saw the State Highway employee running for the fence, pursued closely by the farmer's prize bull. The bull, madder than hell, was gaining on the man with every step!!
The farmer shouted, "Show him your card!"
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Also received in an email over the weekend:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated by Michael Moore
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MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
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THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton
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Sequel:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
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MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden
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THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates
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THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman
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THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry
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AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
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A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J Kevorkian
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ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel
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GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson
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THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
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MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O.J. Simpson
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HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
by Ted Kennedy
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MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton
with introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson
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AND, JUST ADDED:
Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!
by Nancy Pelosi
