Yikes, Michigan has lots of pikes: A lake in Austria has been closed to swimmers because a giant pike nicknamed 'jaws' has been putting the bite on bathers. It's a pretty scary fish, as far as fresh water varieties go.
_________
Desperate times call for desperate measures: "While the officer was preparing to administer a breath analysis, the suspect managed to get hold of a contact lens case he had in his clothing, drink the lens fluid and eat one of his contact lenses. He then attempted to eat portions of his shirt and socks."
__________
Finally, a church for college kids: "Members of the Church of the Universe are required to seek social communion and personal transcendence through solitary or group sacramental cannabis use whenever they personally feel it is appropriate to their spiritual development and connection with higher spirit."
Translated: If you got 'em, smoke 'em (a saying that normally applies to cigarettes, but fits joint use at the Church of the Universe).
__________
Wow: Tornado touches down in Brooklyn. Tell the gang members to show more respect toward Dorothy.
__________