The Weekend Eudemon
The best laid plans . . . Did I say I wasn't working yesterday? It didn't quite work out. I spent about two hours dealing with office stuff from my house in the morning. I also spent 30 minutes in the office Friday morning, then had to go back in at 2:30 for another three hours. It was still a short day--5 to 6 hours--but it wasn't exactly relaxing. I did make it to Mass and the drinking club, though.
Today is another busy day, but for the best of reasons: Michael's First Communion. He's pretty excited. We'll go to Mass, then out to eat and give him his presents. No extended family members could make it, but that's alright. With a family our size, we can throw a party without any help.
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She's already become a comedy annuity plan for the late night hosts. This one is going to be more like a lump sum distribution: A judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in county jail Friday for violating her probation, putting the brakes on the hotel heiress' famous high life . Hilton . . . must go to jail by June 5.
Potential one-liners:
"Paris Hilton is making a new TV show called, 'The Prison Life.'"
"Clandestine Paris Hilton sex videos are being scheduled for mass production, starting June 6."
Top Ten List of Books Paris Could Write by the End of the Year
10. The Simple Life Ain't so Funny.
9. How to Tattoo a Guchi Handbag on Your Thigh.
8. How to Win a Shower Fight without Breaking your Nails.
7. Group Showering for Dummies.
6. Smuggling Perfume for Dummies.
6. House of Wax, Prison Style
5. Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People Like Me?
4. How to Win Friends and Influence People Who Want to Violate You.
3. Everything I Need to Know I Learned in a Mess Hall.
2. What Hilton Hotels Could Learn from Prison Accommodations.
1. The Hottie Fights the Notties.
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I searched to see if any of the late nighters talked about Paris last night, but couldn't find anything. I found this line from Conan O'Brien, though, who is broadcasting from San Fransisco this week:
Of course, medical marijuana is legal in San Francisco. It's a good thing because I was watching our audience line up for tonight's show and apparently, there's a huge outbreak of glaucoma.
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Did everyone else catch the irony in this AP story? Former President Bill Clinton said Friday that disasters such as worldwide famine and an obesity epidemic could destroy the U.S. health care system unless politicians begin to look ahead and cooperate.
I have a solution, incidentally: Every chubby kid should give up one meal at McDonald's a week and send the money saved to Africa.
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Not so funny concluding note: A half-mile-wide tornado pretty much wiped all of Greensburg, Kansas, a town with a population of 1,885.
Such a wide tornado is scary, but I recall hearing that wide tornadoes are less destructive than real narrow ones (I know, I know: tell that to the people in Greensburg).
