Strange News from Bree
October 18, 3018
BREE. Innkeeper Barliman Butterbur vigorously denies that he committed a civil rights infraction, but the Department of Justice isn't drinking his ale.
“The record is clear,” says Mel Coors, lead prosecutor for the Civil Rights Division. “Mr. Butterbur committed a heinous act of discrimination.”
At issue is the following statement by Butterbur: “No black man shall pass my doors, while I can stand on my legs.”
“By any measure,” said Coors, “this is a case of racial discrimination and we intend to seek full redress.”
Butterbur refused to comment, but his attorney, Ron Leonard, said it was just a misunderstanding. “I can't go into details,” said Ron, “but I will say my client was not referring to black men. I mean, he was referring to black men, but not to black men.”
Butterbur made the statement on September 30, 3018, to four guests who were staying at The Prancing Pony. The guests, by all accounts, had been drinking heavily and enjoying themselves in the all-white establishment. The festivities apparently carried over after hours to one of the guest's rooms, where Butterbur made the statement.
Officials are also investigating whether Butterbur violated the Disabilities Act and engaged in hate speech by privileging “standing” and “legs.”
“The implication,” said one authority who didn't want to be named, is that “people who can do neither aren't welcome at his inn.” Butterbur vehemently denies any claim in this regard, pointing out that many of his best friends aren't able to stand on their legs when he closes the inn.