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# The Darvoceted Eudemon
- URL: https://thedailyeudemon.com/5386/
- Published: 2007-03-22T10:49:51.000Z
- Updated: 2007-03-22T10:49:51.000Z
- Author: Eric Scheske
- Tags: TWE, #wpChunk

> "Mr. Scheske, wake up. Wake up, Mr. Scheske."

> "Wha, oh, ow, what the? Ouch. Oh, ow."

> "A lot of pain?"

> "Oh, yeah, oh. Ouch, ouch."

> "The carbon dioxide gas they used to blow up your stomach has that effect on some people."

> "Ouch, oh. Man, it feels like two possums are clawing, gnawing, and copulating in my stomach. Help me, please."

That's how things started after my gall bladder was removed in a surgery that everyone, including my older secretary, assured me is a piece of cake. The above dialogue is fairly accurate, except the possum comment. I wasn't nearly lucid or pain-free enough to come up with anything witty coherent.

After the pain subsided a bit, they took me to post-op, where the wild gurney ride (I think we were going 35 mph, dropping to minus-5 mph, then shooting back up to 35 mph, repeatedly) almost made me hurl. All I wanted to do was sleep, but the nurses wouldn't let me. "As long as you're here, we keep checking your vitals," which, I think, is code for, "If you're well enough to imitate a dead person, you're well enough to go home, so if you want some sleep, get yourself home." So I urinated, ambulated, walked without falling, and did other things taxing on a six-month old, and they let me leave. I spent the rest of the day on Darvocet and the couch.

I feel a lot better this morning. At least the nausea, dizziness, and slight headaches are gone so far. My stomach still hurts, but I think I can leave the Darvocet waters for the milder waters of Motrin.

Notwithstanding the slight feeling that I was rushed out of there (which could totally be in my mind, since I was hardly in my mind), my local hospital did a great job (as far as I know; when do left-behind sponges show up in your system?). I'd give 'em a 9 on a scale of 1-10.

No blogging for now, unless the above counts.