All Saints Day is here. Rejoice! There's hope for all of us. Sainthood isn't just for those canonized. The Francises, Theresas, and other show-offs. Today, we celebrate all those saints we don't know about: everyone in heaven that isn't canonized.
Go to Mass. It's an obligation. If it helps, consider it a subpoena. If someone calls my office and asks (in an annoyed tone) whether he really has to go to court in response to a subpoena, one of my partners says, "It's not an invitation." Today's Mass isn't an invitation (those are the ordinary weekday Masses). If you miss today, you could have serious problems. In the words of John Zmirak in his splendid The Bad Catholic's Guide to Good Living:
Yes, skipping church today is in fact a mortal sin--and one of the dullest in the book. Can you imagine being damned for blowing off the twenty-six minute liturgy at your parish? You'd be the laughing stock of hell.
Bob Barker died. Another saint to add to today's celebration? I'm guessing not. He's probably finding out that the Price of fast living isn't Right(eous). I hear Islam held no special appeal for Bob. Beautiful women in paradise? He apparently had 'em backstage.
Later correction: I guess Barker didn't die. He just retired. My apologies, Mr. Barker.
Other celebrity news: Kevin Federline wants to be taken seriously as a rapper. I'm not going to make fun of him. I actually feel a little bad for Federline. As the story says, he's become a "walking punchline." I've never heard someone referred to as a "moray eel," much less a thousand times. Though I might mock his goal to be a rapper, since I hold rap in lower esteem than Nazis hold Jews.
The NBA started yesterday. People are saying it could be a great year, especially if you're a Chicago Bulls fan (who thumped the defending champs last night). Even ESPN Radio commentators are saying the NBA is back on the right track, and I don't think ESPN has the NBA contract (TNT does). TNT is owned by Time Warner; ESPN and ABC are owned by Disney. ESPN has gotten real bad about touting sporting events that are shown on ABC and ESPN, to the prejudice of other sporting events. When I hear them touting sports that they don't carry, I take notice.
Finally, the best story of the day: Drunk uses seven-year-old son as designated driver. I can't blame him. Drunk driving gets a lot more press and attention than underage driving. He probably took all the anti-drunk driving propaganda literally and felt he was choosing the lesser of two evils.
