BYCU

Barrel of Gifts

The naked dude with a barrel really was once a thing. But it apparently wasn't for broke people, but for hungover people. If someone got really drunk, bosses from James I to Civil War commanders made the drunkards wear them as punishment.

The article linked to this advertisement: The Five Essential Gifts for Beer Lovers. I wasn't sure what I'd find, but the five essential gifts consist of things I never once used during my heavy beer drinking days, and I got along just fine:

Tulip beer glasses
Beer log
Leather koozie
Magnetic catch bottle opener
Beer socks.

I think it's pretty obvious that this alcohol website is written by hipsters, for hipsters. None of those things are essential, and the addition of beer socks? I actually felt bad for the publication.

The beer log, incidentally, is a notebook where you record your notes about the beers you try. Yikes. I wouldn't be caught dead carrying one of those things into a bar.

Dude at Bar: "Hey man. What's that?"
Me: "It's my beer log. Tee hee."
Dude at Bar: "WTF's a 'beer log.'"
Me: "It's a journal where I record my thoughts and feelings about the different craft beers I try."
Dude at Bar (standing up aggressively): "You f'in' with me!?"
Me (covering my beer log with my elbow so he can't read it; responding in nasal twang): "No. It's my beer log. Stay away, stay awaaaaaaaay."
Dude at Bar (turning to his friends): "This dude's f'in' with me. Who wants to see me kick his ass?"

But I kept a drinking diary during my young adult years. It consisted of (i) did I drink that day, (ii) how much did I drink, and (iii) how bad was the hangover (1-5). Occasionally, I would scratch in extra notes. I ran across the diary during my recent move. It brought back a lot of (non) memories.

Eric Scheske

Eric Scheske