Skip to content

Free at Last, Free at Last

Michigan has been set free. The uber-lockdown governor has finally relented and ended the lockdown. The new order says, "You can do whatever you want, unless set forth below." The previous orders said, "You can't do anything, unless I say so."

Of course, the governor couldn't resist one more effort to politicize the lockdown, adding to the order itself: "The measures put in place by these executive orders have been effective: the number of new confirmed cases each day continues to drop."

Put another way, "I, leader of the State, conquered COVID. It has nothing to do with sunshine and vitamin D. It has nothing to do with people getting outside and exercising more. It has nothing to do with the possibility that this thing was entirely overblown to begin with. Don't tell me that the newest evidence indicates lockdowns aren't effective. No. I, Your Leader, stopped COVID."

And, of course, she didn't quite end this thing. She kept certain restrictions. If I had to guess, it's to save face. If she simply dropped the whole thing suddenly, the ghastly cat would be out of the bag. No one would buy, "Michigan was on death's door on Sunday, but now, on Monday, everything is fine." I figure that, by July, she'll further relax the order but not pull it back completely, in order to further the charade that some measure of emergency control is needed. By August, the order will probably prohibit:

People from spitting in other's food.
Licking another person's beer mug.
Armpit bro hugs by men wearing wife-beaters.
Men from knocking dongs at urinals.
Trans from knocking plastic dongs unless that's how they express themselves.

Welcome to freedom, my fellow Michiganders. It feels great.