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Drudge Headlines Over the Past 12 Hours and My Reactions

"All 50 states under disaster declaration for first time in history": That didn't happen when Masked Singer debuted?

"Unclear whether patients are immune to second infection": And what, exactly, has been clear throughout this entire thing?

"Starving, angry, cannibalistic: Rats getting desperate": I thought at first that they were talking about the Masked Singer viewing audience.

"Health or Wealth: Nations pressured to loosen rules": Frick, I'd just be happy if Michigan had a coherent line of reasoning in theirs.

"Surveillance thrives": Surveillance and Statistics: The Erections of the State.

"Flight attendants and pilots question safety": They should try being stuck in tight chairs when the fat lady in front of you keeps passing gas.

"Abundance of natural light, fresh air keys to keeping virus out": Good to hear. Walking and gardening are the order of the day for me. I don't know what to tell the golfers in Michigan, however, who aren't allowed to golf for some unknown reason.

"Deaths top 22,000": I thought they were supposed to top 100,000 by now.

"Men stashing sperm": I'm never buying a used car ever again.

"Truckers struggle to find bathrooms, rest stops": I thought they urinated in bottles?

"Truckers struggle to find bathrooms, rest stops": Yet another blow to the gay sex community.

"Truckers struggle to find bathrooms": This same thing almost cost me my marriage.

"Will voters want president who feels their pain?" Sorry, but Bill is termed out under the 22nd Amendment.