Floating Sex

Forms of Captivity

Are those folks still quarantined on the cruise ship? No fear: Porn is here. Porn Company Offers Free Webcam Sessions To Quarantined Cruise Passengers. It's not often you see such magnamity and twistedness in one gesture, kind of like when a guy holds a door open for a girl so he can look at her posterior.

There is, however, one glitch: Carnival Cruises doesn't allow porn on its cruises.

Hooray for Carnival Cruises. I wonder what prompted them to impose that restriction? I did a quick Google search and, well, I can't recount what I saw, but I'm guessing anything relevant was buried behind pages and pages of porn links.

Speaking of captive audiences: An Iowa man held a female acquaintance captive and forced her to watch “Roots” so that she “could better understand her racism,” according to a criminal complaint. Roots? I thought that had been, at least partially, debunked as a work of fiction, not even qualifying as "historical fiction" (which, I've been led to believe by thinkers I trust, has merit as an historical genre, even if it's not "true history"). But, I'm the first to admit: I don't know much about Roots. I watched it when I was a kid (everyone back then pretty much watched the same things), and I always wondered why slave owners would whip their property like that and make them less profitable, but I'm no expert.

And I seriously doubt the alleged false imprisoner is an expert either. He doesn't have the reputation of a nuanced kind of guy: "Noye's rap sheet includes convictions for felony narcotics possession; assault; criminal mischief; probation violation; and marijuana possession."

The Catholic Church, incidentally, recently freed one of its churches from captivity: First Mass Since Reformation to be Held in Swiss Cathedral. The church was originally built in 1160. When the Calvinists took over Geneva, they sat down with the local bishop to negotiate a fair purchase price, to be financed with 20%, payable over the course of 30 years. No, wait, that's not exactly what happened: "The last Mass celebrated at the cathedral took place in 1535. After the Reformation, the building was taken over by John Calvin's Reformed Protestant Church, which destroyed the cathedral's statues and paintings, and banned Catholic worship."

It's often been said that Europe is running off its Catholic fumes. You can see the fumes in the form of its churches, many of which are now Protestant, preparing to be converted into Mosques.

Eric Scheske

Eric Scheske