I'm no Woody Allen fan, but a few of these quotes are pretty funny:
"[Intellectuals] are like the Mafia. They only kill their own."
"The prettiest [girls] are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God."
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."
"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."
