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Albert Jay Nock once remarked that it's ridiculous to try to prohibit/circumscribe something like alcohol, which in nature runs as freely as water. His point was illustrated this week in India: "Residents of an apartment building in southern India were left in shock after a mix of beer, brandy and rum started gushing out of their taps." Winos in the area broke into a Bacchanal. The Carry Nations donned hair shirts.

But maybe the Indian residents were celebrating the Chiefs' Super Bowl victory (is that racist . . . to confuse two types of Indians?). It appears the Chief players celebrated in that fashion, to the amusement of some, annoyance of the Carry Nations: "Over the course of the parade, the players were shown chugging beer. Fans of the team were throwing cans and bottles of beer in the direction of players like Patrick Mahomes, and they responded by cracking them open and quickly downing the contents. This led to some moments in which the various players were viewed as being 'hammered.'"

And, of course, one fan had to invoke "the children," which is the favorite totem of every closeted Fascist who uses children to push the most oppressive, ham-handed, and ridiculous laws: "Some fans thought that this was entertaining while others were fairly upset. One individual, in particular, asked about the effect that this would have on children."

I think the effect on the children, if any, is, "Look, you can drink a lot of beer and still be wildly successful, if you're not a moronic drunk."

Patrick Mahomes, I'd note, was one of the imbibing Chiefs. Good for him. He strikes me as a really cool guy. But I'm not sure he's as cool as Terry Bradshaw, who recently launched a bourbon with an alcohol percentage that equals his NFL completion rate: "The whiskey will feature a blend of cinnamon, baking spices vanilla and coconut flavors and is bottled at a 51.9 percent alcohol by volume."

Until next Friday, stay warm. It's the season of dark beer, brown liquor, and vodka. All can dispel the gloom and cold of February.

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