Well, if American ag has a suicide problem (see yesterday's post), it's nothing compared to the suicides coming to Silicon Valley in early 2018: Silicon Valley Is Sneaking Models Into This Year's Holiday Parties: “Ambiance and atmosphere models” contractually obligated to pretend they're party guests are in record demand from local agencies. Basically, it boils down to this: Silican Valley is driven by computer nerds. These computer nerds are, well, nerds. Nerds with a good income, nerds that do important work. But nerds. One-on-one, they're probably interesting and a lot of fun. But put together in one room? It's a nerd herd. So companies are hiring hot chicks to come to party to spice them up. They're even throwing in a few hot guys for the homosexuals and female computer nerds (of whom there are very few).
But here's the problem: Hot chick goes to the holiday party; flirts with Lewis; Lewis starts thinking, "I got it goin' on." Lewis asks her out. She can't just say, "No, I'm getting paid to flirt with you," so she plays along, gives Lewis her phone number, and then gradually lets him down over the next week or two. By the time January 2nd rolls around, Lewis figures out that he didn't have it goin' on after all, gets depressed, and, being in the midst of the post-holiday letdown already, kills himself. Good thing there's pretty good weather out there compared to, say, Kansas in January. That might keep the suicide rate under a million (the suicide rate will be directly correlated to the attractiveness of the models hired to attend the parties).
Vegan Update: I promised readers an update regarding my vegan exploits, so here's update number one. Stop reading now if you're cool. It's going fairly well. I intentionally fell of the vegan wagon for Thanksgiving and paid a terrible price. I was doubled-over Wednesday night after a salami sandwich for lunch and a big hamburger with fries for dinner (the ton of vodka probably didn't help). I then had Thanksgiving turkey on Thursday and pizza on Friday. The bloating and stomach pains literally took nearly a week to subside, and the accompanying weight gain took about two weeks to come off. My conclusion from this: Your stomach will acclimate to a vegan diet, which is good, but it makes cheating risky. Meat for me has now become like alcohol:
Indulge in it if you want, but you might pay a severe price the next day. Other than that, I am enjoying the vegan diet. The meat abstention scarcely bothers me. It sucks when eating out and on special occasions, but otherwise, I don't miss meat. The animal byproducts part, however, is hard and, truth be told, I'm not doing it well. If I had to guess, I've reduced my animal byproduct intake by at least 50%, probably closer to 75%, but I'm not close to eliminating it. I continue to explore options and ways to increase that percentage.