Wireless Security System

Received from a friend:

How to install a wireless security system:

Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of
a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it, a really big dish.

Leave a note on your front door that says something like "Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 an
hour. Don't disturb the pit bulls. They've just been de-wormed and they are a little edgy."