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The Swimsuit Issue

The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue came out earlier this month. We subscribed to SI for years and have seen over twenty swimsuit issues. We finally concluded that all the 4/5s-of-a-breast pictures weren't doing us any good. We couldn't get the image of those women out of our heads. Let's face it: computer enhancements and plastic surgery notwithstanding, those models are objectively beautiful, and we don't have the level of detachment attained by one holy desert father who, while in town with junior anchorites, watched a woman proceed naked through the village. The younger cenobites covered their eyes. After she left, he asked the others, "Didn't you look? I did. She was beautiful." He then went about his business without thinking about her. That's a level of divinely-infused detachment that most non-saints don't have. For us average lascivious Joes, we're safer not looking in the first place.

We also grew tired of SI's pro-homosexual stance, including featured columnist Rick Reilly's repeated rants (including name calling) against people who don't share his pro-gay stance. That got tiresome after about the eighth gay-centered column. We didn't keep tabs, but for a while there, it seemed that homosexuality was Reilly's favorite topic. He could've been a guest columnist on Andrew Sullivan's blog.

Anyway, we cancelled our subscription and subscribed to The Sporting News. We never regretted it. Beyond any doubt, TSN offers far more sports coverage than SI. SI has more “human interest” stuff, pretty pictures, and things to entertain the non-sports reader, but for sports facts and analysis, TSN is much better.

Side note: We also tried ESPN the Magazine. It's not recommended, either. Back when we subscribed, its pages were filled with cute jargon that rendered much of the information simply incomprehensible. Simulated example: "If Huey fails to put the rock on the line, he's gonna be seeing some blowfish." ??? Anyone got a lexicon in their stall?