Late Night

Leno:

The Hamas terror organization has announced it now has its own TV station. Great, now NBC will be the fifth rated network.

Senator Ted Kennedy announced that he and his dog Splash are writing a children's book. Is Splash the best name for Ted Kennedy's dog? Isn't that a bit like Jack Abramoff naming his dog Bribe?

Letterman:

According to the AMA 15% of Americans are drunk on the job. In fact the writer of this joke was too drunk to come up with a punch line.