Ferguson

A "Duck Dynasty" musical is in the works. It's predicted to be very popular with fans of "Duck Dynasty" who also love musical theater. In other words, nobody. Actors who audition should be proficient in singing, dancing, and hiding their sexual orientation.

I wonder what the "Duck Dynasty" musical will be called? Perhaps "Quackin' in the Rain." "Fiddler on the Pond." Or "Hello Ducky."

A tiger has been seen running around Paris. Citizens were told to stay indoors and do whatever's necessary to protect the wine and cheese. They should leave home only to smoke and to judge others.