Good Late Night

The heroic New York doctor who caught Ebola has been declared Ebola free. President Obama called the doctor to thank him for his selflessness and compassion. Then to be safe, Obama threw his phone in a trash can and lit it on fire. Fallon

In Beaumont, California, two people have lined up over two weeks early at Best Buy for Black Friday. The two people said they're hoping to get a great deal on a life. Conan

Stocks are at an all-time high today. I don't have any money in the stock market. I don't have the stomach for the ups and downs. So about 20 years ago I put all of my money and liquid assets into videotape rewind machines. Letterman