I guess there's a squabble in Orange County that could turn into a full-blown political battle that libertarians would love: local health inspectors want to inspect the kitchen of an 84-year-old woman who sells muffins. She won't let them in. She explains why, using rather colorful language. LA Times Link.
"If you put your guts into your business, the hard-earned sweat of your brow, that becomes a living entity that serves the community," she says. "If the people don't patronize it because there's something wrong with it, it goes out of business. But government is nothing but a @{club}*¡% leech. Excuse my language."
I ask why the store shouldn't be subject to oversight. "They're stupid. They lord it over you. They're worse than Hitler. They terrorize you. They take away your pursuit of happiness, your privacy. They could give a ®%$# about our Constitution."
She didn't understand that, she says, until she "met Christ and reopened my eyes to the difference between what's righteous and unrighteous." She suggests that inspectors "run for their ¡®{spade}*&% lives because they're going to get lynched by somebody that's not going to be as gentle as we are."
I suggest her language doesn't bespeak gentleness. "I don't give a #*&%$!" she says, cheerily. "I love it," she says, then mutters about "Christian religious pious £°%$#!" . . .
Kolasinski says God once told her not to worry about using four-letter words. "He said, 'You are my mouthpiece, and I want you to say exactly what I tell you to say.' "
She then tells me that God has designated me as "Sweetsie baby."
Momentarily disarmed, I ask how the battle will end. "I have not a clue," she says. "We do the Lord's work every day. I think he is going to humble that health department and they're going to be happier than they've ever been. They're going to come and apologize to me for terrorizing us." . . .
In parting, I tell her I can't tell if she's amused or furious. "I'm always angry," she says. "The joy of the Lord is my force, the strength that keeps me going. When I see all the things going on that aren't right, it makes me wonder, where is our God?"
Nobody asked me, but if I were the county, I might be inclined to quietly walk away from this one. I just wonder whether illegally baking muffins is worth stepping into this potential land mine near the corner of Harbor and Adams in Costa Mesa.
"You can take my business, you can take everything," Kolasinski says. "But you can't take my @*#%{circ} soul. That belongs to Christ."
Humorous stuff. It's "Andrew Dice Clay gets religion." I draw a major distinction between words that violate the Second Commandment and ordinary vulgarities of shadowy origins (the "F" word) or that come from the Battle of Hastings (1066). Unfortunately, the symbols in the column don't indicate what variety this woman uses, but someone may want to suggest to her that nothing unclean is supposed to come from a Christian's mouth.
Even if you're dealing with local Fascists.
