VHS: RIP

John Robson writes a eulogy for the VHS. Excerpts:

The Citizen obituary said after only 28 years, VHS tapes won't be made as of 2006. In an intimation of mortality, a year ago the Daily Telegraph said Britain's largest electronics chain no longer sold VCRs, because DVD players now outsold them 40:1, adding unkindly "VHS seem as old-fashioned as the eight-track audio player or Betamax" and "Like many consumer technologies... video recorders owed much of their early success to providing easier access to pornography." . . .

I hear rumblings from the back. Lunch will be served shortly. But first, on this solemn occasion, let us also lay to rest an unpleasant rumour VHS could never in his lifetime erase. Nonconformists all claim he bore the mark of Cain, having slain his younger more virtuous sibling Beta. They pillory him as proof of "network effects" through which (hey, get back in your seats, this eulogy ain't over) an inferior product that establishes itself early can keep superior rivals out of a market.

It is a slander on the stiff. Beta, whose picture wasn't better, arrived in North America almost two years earlier. VHS outsold his older sibling within six months of birth, not due to skulduggery or skull-hittery but to longer record/play time which people actually wanted. To some snobs it just meant more tacky images of wedding receptions and suburban back yards. But while Beta cassettes were easier to carry, one hour is a bit short for home feature film viewing. . . .

For everything there is a time: A time to vinyl, a time to VHS, a time to digital, a time to teleport. In lieu of flowers please e-mail grainy images of your kid's Bar Mitzvah. VHS lived briefly, but gloriously. And left so many fine memories. Please close your eyes briefly while I chuck this pile of tapes in the alley.

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