"This is a Bongee Wongee, Tommy"

A news item worthy of The Onion. Link. Excerpt:

Children under five are to be schooled in the dangers of drugs in a bid to "drug-proof" Scotland's youngest generation, The Scotsman can reveal.

Infants will be introduced to the issue of illegal drugs while at nursery schools, and day centres for the first time.

Nursery teachers will begin training on the use of educational packages for children early next year, under an initiative led by Scotland Against Drugs (SAD).