The Octo-blade

How do you clear snow? Shovel? Snow-blower? Snow service?

I use . . . The Octo-Blade! It's an octopus-like machine that attacks the snow from eight different angles, using different-sized blades to hit different accumulations. The little blades take care of the front porch and areas under the eaves. The medium blades torch the sidewalk. The big blades handle the driveway and drifts. It's cheap to operate, there's no assembly required, and it's voice-activated.