Brews You Can Use
Providing all the conversation fodder you need for your upcoming evening!
Well, crud. The economy is forcing one of the greatest bastions of beer drinking--the English pub--to change its business model. They're now catering more to yuppies than hard-core drinkers. Link. But is it just the economy that is driving pubs to such degrading practices? Maybe not. Like most things that suck today, it's partly the government's fault: "Every week 39 pubs close their doors, according to the British Beer and Pub Association (BBPA), a trade body. In 2005 there were 58,600 pubs in Britain; now there are around 52,500. Many publicans principally blame competition from supermarkets, whose buying power (and tax advantages) allow them to undercut pub prices. Tim Martin, J D Wetherspoon's founder and chairman, bemoans the interference of government. The previous Labour administration imposed a ban on smoking in public venues in 2007, plus above-inflation rises in beer tax." * * * * * * * But of course: Ancient Israelites drank not only wine but also beer, according to a biblical scholar at Xavier University, a Roman Catholic school in Louisiana. "Ancient Israelites, with the possible exception of a few teetotaling Nazirites and their moms, proudly drank beer - and lots of it," said Michael Homan. Ya can't beat all that Canaanite butt while drinking effeminate wine. * * * * * * * If my oppressive wife had a soul (heh, heh, heh--couch, get ready for me), she'd make me some of this: beer cheese dip. * * * * * * * And I'd dip these into the dip, while drinking a fine wheat ale . . . and count myself truly blessed: Beer chips.
Some people wonder why this feature is called "Brews You Can Use," so I added the italicized sub-title above. I hope it's self-explanatory and user-friendly, but if not, here are some ways you can use the information in this post to make yourself an affable drinking companion this evening:
1. You're sitting at the bar at 3:30. The TV is on and you're watching Fox News with a couple of other losers who left work early. An image of Elton John comes on the screen. You remark, "Speaking of Brit fags, did you hear that government strangulation is forcing pubs in England to cater more to the effete element of the population? Man, that sucks."
2. You're sitting at the bar at 9:30 (a.m.). The TV is on and you're watching the History Channel with a couple of other losers who didn't go to work at all. THC is showing a documentary about the ancient Israelites. You remark, "You know. Those ancient Israelites were some heavy-drinking mo-fo's. And they were drinking beer, like us right now. That's pretty cool."
3. You're sitting at the bar at 7:30 and you're hungry. You call your wife with a smart phone, and you tell her that you'll be emailing her a link for a great beer cheese dip recipe. You ask her (or tell her--your call) to make enough for you and the other guys at the bar, and then to drive it out ASAP.
