Director of Mental Waste
Ah, those public school educators. They're always thinkin'. Scottsdale, Arizona public schools have changed some of their job titles. They don't have a receptionist, for instance. They have a "Director of First Impressions." Bus Driver? No longer, you're now a "Transporter of Learners" (and if you have derelicts on your bus, then your title is "Transporter of Dope"). And it's not "Assistant Superintendent," you simpleton, it's "Executive Director for Elementary Schools and Excelling Teaching and Learning." Click here if you can take more.