"Man" Hugs

The Denver Post has run a lengthy piece about the manhug. What is it? It's an alternative form of greeting another man. According to the article, some men hug and others shake hands.

The article goes into all the nuances and talks about how difficult it is to determine whether to hug or not. For example:

Making the right choice matters. If one guy goes for the hug, but the other decides upon a handshake, they might collide. An excruciating dance will follow, as the poor lads work feverishly to determine what to do with their hands, their arms, their bodies.

Link.

We'll make it easy: A man hugs another man if (i) the other man is his son, grandson, father, or grandfather, (ii) the other man is a close friend or family member and has just returned after being presumed dead following a secret mission to kill Commies in North Korea, (iii) their sports team has just (and we mean just--like, in the past ten seconds) won a major championship, (iv) the other man has been shot and you need to put him in a hug-like clench in order to fling him over your back and get him to a doctor, or (v) there's homo-eroticism in the air. All other man-on-man hugging is unacceptable. Hope this helps.