The National Catholic Register has started a Pope watch blog: Pope2008.com. It'll cover the Pope's trip to the United States. The cyber-place to be this papal visit.
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A few jokes I received yesterday:
1. A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money. Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber shot him in the temple, killing him instantly. He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did."
2. Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
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How much does she charge?
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John Zmirak remembers the day Geraldine Ferraro came to his parish in Queens:
Ferraro was ready for that one. “I'm glad you asked that, Sweetie. You know that I'm a Catholic, and I try to be a good one.” She glanced at the priest, who smiled. Or maybe he winked. “That's why I'm personally opposed to abortion. I think it's a tragedy. But I have a daughter, and I love her very much. If something were to happen to her...” She looked a little choked up. “If she were to be raped by a...” Then she used the word, and the way she used it tapped into the deepest anxieties of all those mamas and grandmas. “By a”¦ mugger...”
She paused for full effect. This was New York City in the 80s, when street crime raged--albeit not in our neighborhood, but that didn't seem to matter. “I'd want her to have the CHOICE about what to do. That's my personal belief.”
Dolorosa sat down, relieved, and applause smattered through the room. Ferraro had used the right word, so vivid and memorable--only two letters away from the word she really meant everyone to hear. A “mugger.”
