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Whew, 13 and-a-half hour day yesterday: 7:30 to 9:00. Work, meetings, kids baseball. The kids baseball isn't work, but it feels like it when you're in a suit and it's 88 degrees. Things should slow down considerably today, but it ain't a holiday, either. That starts tomorrow, when I take off Friday for a four-day weekend.

Barring any mishaps, it should be a good four days. We'll have only four children. The three oldest are going with my in-laws to bird-watching camp. Sadistic of me? A little, but they enjoyed it last year. When they went, Marie and I thought the burden on our lives would be a "wash": three fewer children to care for, but they're the three oldest. They help out a lot around the house, so we'd miss the extra hands.

No way. We couldn't believe how mellow the house was. We missed the older ones, of course, but it was a lot easier dealing with four little kids aged 1 to 7 than seven kids aged 1 to 13. When they got back, we announced that the big kids obviously aren't pulling their weight, doubled their chores, and made them start sleeping outside.

I'm just hoping they get home safe, so I can triple their chores.

It's a coincidence that I ran across this column on the day that my family's size is decreasing by 33.3%: "The difference between Spartan society [where unwanted babies were thrown from Mt. Taigetos] and ours is that for Spartans “unwanted” meant “substandard,” whereas for us it means “inconvenient.” We don't want standard or even superstandard children if they cramp our style."

Change "cramp" to "kill," and I agree wholeheartedly.

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