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The Internet this morning is moving slower than a slug in molasses. Not sure what the problem is. A few quick things:

This is one of the most-infuriating legislative trends I've seen:

State laws requiring young girls to be vaccinated against a sexually transmitted disease soon could be controlling the decisions parents make regarding their daughters in 26 states, as a result of the financial influence of drug maker Merck & Co.

Here's an idea: Keep your pants on. You don't get pricked, and you don't have to worry when the bad side effects of the vaccination become known in twenty years.

Musical about urinating. The writer sounds like a real whiz. Reminds me of my short essay on outdoor urination. Great lead-in to my weekly drinking feature:

Brews You Can Use

Organic, caffeinated and made with yerba mate (some herb):

Mateveza USA and Butte Creek Brewing are combining to introduce an organic, naturally caffeinated pale ale. Mateveza Yerba Mate Ale is brewed with yerba mate, the ancient tea from South America.

I'd try it. Unfortunately, I suspect it costs $20 a six pack.

Samuel Adams is a classy brewer, but this sounds a little scary: Samuel Adams Black Lager. "Smell: Dark–burnt and slightly smoky. A sour character from burnt charcoal. Slight undercurrent of sweet malt. Taste: Dark and roasty with burnt chocolate and some coffee–like a porter but much lighter." Charcoal, Chocolate, and Coffee. I don't know, man. Sounds like Crap.

The greatest drinker who ever lived? Andre the Giant, according to this article at Modern Drunkard Magazine that an electronic friend sent to me a few days ago. The article says he once drank 119 beers in one sitting. I find that hard to believe, but MDM doesn't run junk. The lengthy article is at least worth a scan. Excerpts:

[I]t has been estimated that Andre the Giant drank 7,000 calories worth of booze every day. The figure doesn't include food. Just booze. . . .
On one tour, Andre's Japanese sponsors rewarded him with a case of expensive plum wine. Andre settled down in the back of the bus and started drinking. Four hours later, the bus arrived at the next venue, and Andre was polishing off the last bottle of wine.
Sixteen bottles of wine in four hours is a considerable feat, but it gets better. Andre proceeded straight to the ring and wrestled three matches, including a twenty-man battle royal. The 16 bottles of plum wine had no discernible effect on Andre's in-ring ability. By the end of the evening, Andre had sweated off the wine and found himself growing cranky. He dispatched Hogan for a few cases of beer. Hogan hurried to do as Andre asked, knowing from painful experience that a drunken Giant was a happy Giant, and a happy Giant was less likely to fracture some vital part of an opponent's anatomy in a fit of grumpiness. . . .
119 beers in six hours. That's a beer every three minutes, non stop. That's beyond epic. It's beyond the ken of mortal men.

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