Received in an Email
A well-turned simile is a work of art. A poor simile is, well, pretty funny. Here's a list of 56 similes that were supposedly written by high schoolers. I suspect a few of them are fake, but they're all good. A few samples:
"He was as tall as a 6”²3”³ tree." TDE comment: Why leave any room for doubt?
"The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant." TDE comment: Fake, or written by a student with a sense of humor.
"The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM." TDE comment: Written like a true Occupy type.
"McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup." TDE comment: Not bad, but perhaps a bit too vivid for popular consumption (the simile, not the soup).
"Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do." TDE comment: Accurate enough, I suppose. But "wont"?
"The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while." TDE comment: I think this is an example of a simile circling back on itself.
"It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools." TDE comment: Why is this funny? Don't be so judgmental about other families' pastimes. Maybe call social services, but don't be so judgmental.
"It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before." TDE comment: Might be accurate. If a tree falls in a forest . . .
Drinking Corner
Someone would should have thought of this a long time ago: translating beer tastes into wine recommendations. Sample: "If you're a fan of fragrant summer ales or the aromatic seduction of Belgian white beers, look for mildly aromatic grape varieties such as Spanish Albariño, apricot-like Viognier or even Argentinian Torrontés for a full-on lemon-elderflower assault." The language is a bit too flowery for me (or any non-female human), but the concept is good.
