Brews You Can Use

fresnoAmerica’s Drunkest Cities

I was in Fresno last year. I didn’t appreciate that I was amidst drunken greatness: “Fresno was near the top in every measure of dangerous drinking, including the body count caused by booze-fueled car crashes (Fatality Analysis Reporting System), the number of arrests made for driving under the influence (FBI), the number of people who admit to binge drinking in the last month (CDC), and the severity of DUI penalties (Insurance Institute for Highway Safety).” For the complete list of the most drunken cities, go here.

The Top 25:

Fresno, CA
Reno, NV
Billings, MT
Riverside, CA
Austin, TX
St. Louis, MO
San Antonio, TX
Lubbock, TX
Tucson, AZ
Bakersfield, CA
Las Vegas, NV
Modesto, CA
Columbia, SC
Nashville, TN
Madison, WI
Colorado Springs, CO
Denver, CO
Phoenix, AZ
Cheyenne, WY
Sacramento, CA
New Orleans, LA
Toledo, OH
Aurora, CO
El Paso, TX
Corpus Christi, TX

California and Texas each have five. Among the soberest 25, Texas has only one city (Dallas) and California has three. Why the mass drunkenness in Texas?

Franzia Me!

I figured that grain alcohol or 5:00 vodka would be the cheapest way to get drunk. Apparently, that’s not so: “Surprisingly, malt liquor isn’t the cheapest and fastest way to get drunk. That distinction is held by none other than Franzia boxed wine.” For a good analysis of how to get yourself to .08 BAL, check out this site. It has a nifty chart/picture.

If the Flames Hadn’t Gotten Him . . .

I suspect a lethal BAL would have:

A Toms River man died today of severe burns after accidentally igniting spilled vodka with a dropped cigarette.

Paul MacClymont, 40, sustained the third-degree burns over his entire body late Thursday night but did not call 911 until some six hours later, said Toms River Police Chief Michael Mastronardy.

Police went to MacClymont’s Waters Edge Drive home shortly after 4:30 a.m. today, the chief said. After forcing their way into the house, officers Andrew Chencharik and Ryan Quinn found MacClymont lying on the floor with third-degree burns over his entire body, Mastronardy said.

He said MacClymont told the officers he dropped a lit cigarette in his lap on which he had spilled vodka. After rolling on the floor, MacClymont passed out before waking up six hours later and calling 911, Mastronardy said.


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One Response to Brews You Can Use

  1. Why the mass drunkenness in Texas?

    The same reason as all the other states that made the list: very significant levels of DNA from indigenous peoples of the western hemisphere. Large numbers of said DNA-carriers being youthful and/or far separated from family life probably doesn’t help either.